20th February 2016
Everything now seemed so different…..
We didn’t know what we were coming home to. The news of Corrinne’s condition had traveled on ahead of us and no doubt would be common knowledge within the family. It was all out in the open. Everyone now would have an opinion and there would be so many questions. It wasn’t going to be just the two of us anymore, there would always be someone fussing around. These were all of the things that Corrinne wanted to avoid. Such a proud, independant lady, with a determination to carry on no matter what.
The journey home from Australia, had taken so much out of Corrinne. The tiredness, the confusion. It had been hard work for both of us navigating our way through airports, at the stop off in Singapore. Twenty one hours travelling was far too much, but taking Corrinne to see her Brother was worth it. All we wanted to do now was to go home and rest, take our time and settle back into our daily routines. We knew that the family would want to see her, to offer their love and support. No matter how much we wanted to avoid this, we knew it had to be done. As always Corrinne really didn’t want the “fuss”, she just wanted some time to herself and most importantly some sleep, in her own bed.
Over the following days there was so much to do. Firstly, we definitely had to have Corrinne “Signed Off” from work. There was no way she could cope with all the stresses associated with her job. That obviously necessitated a trip to the GP. Having secured an appointment, we were greeted as always by a warm friendly smile and a sincere warmth and affection.
Whilst we had been away, the family back home had been receiving updates on Corrinne’s condition, from her Brother. The uncertainty had obviously created worry. They had contacted her GP, to help with their understanding, but obviously with Data Protection the surgery was unable to divulge any medical details.
Our first appointment was four days after our return, with our GP, who sat us down and as always managed to get Corrinne talking. When we left, we had the “Sick Note” and more prescriptions. Lots of referrals were also being made, which meant we would constantly be having appointments and more tests. The GP also advised that Corrinne shouldn’t keep this to herself any longer, she had a large family around her and that now she really she share this with her loved ones.
Working this through as just the two of us had been such a big thing for Corrinne. Her pride, her inner resolve and the fact that she really doesn’t like people “fussing” over her meant she didn’t want anyone else involved. I had been sworn to keeping this just between us. Let’s face it, we didn’t even know what was wrong! We had coped, just! We must of been pretty convincing, as no-one, not even my own parents suspected a thing. But yes the GP was right, the love and strength of the family was needed now.
I often question myself as to whether I failed Corrinne by not involving others sooner. I have always been so good at keeping quiet, but was this the time I should of spoken out? When a loved one asks you to say nothing, it puts you in a difficult position. My loyalty will never be questioned, I will always respect a persons wishes.
The question that constantly troubles me, is in hindsight, would I do anything different? I have to admit, I probably wouldn’t. I would still have put Corrinne’s wishes first, but I would definitely have tried to be more persuasive in getting her to share more, with all of those who really loved her.